“Todd...oooh, Todd!” a muffled female voice came from inside the locked doors of the oval office. “Shut up!” replied a gruff male voice. “Just relax and enjoy it. You know you love it”
....The corridor was empty outside in the hall of the White House. There were agents strationed discreetly and there was some activity in the outer halls.
From the door of the Oval Office, the muffled female voice became a passionate moan...an attempt at a plea, “C'mon, Todd, this isn’t right...here on the desk! There’s papers here, important stuff! Please wait!”
There was a sharp slap of a palm on a face and a little yelp, like a small animal and the other voice said, in an urgent gruff growl,
“I’ve never made love to a president before!” He laughed cruelly and the female voice moaned and said “Oooh Todd, you bastard”....
As this little drama unfolded behind closed doors, a phlanx of secret service agents strode purposefully down the corridor. They got to the door of the oval office and began to pound on the door just as Todd collapsed in a spent heap across the prone form of his wife, Sarah. “Open up! Secret Service! Mrs. Palin are you alright?”
“Uhh, just fine...” came a weak voice from behind the door, “just give me a second.”
The door opened and a disheveled Todd Palin, who was obviously adjusting his clothing let the agents in.
The chief agent looked a little embarrassed as Mrs.Palin, blushing discreetly smoothed and pulled her skirt into place.
Todd asked sharply, :”What is the meaning of this?”
The agent said, “Mr. Cheney told us you might need a hand straightening up a little mess here.” After a nervous silence, the agent added, “Madame President!”
Todd and Sarah looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, uh, okay then." Obviously, the call to Cheney had the desired results.
The geezers body is in the anteroom.” he motioned to a side door.
“Look” Todd went on, “Did Cheney tell you what happened?”
The agent looked at the others and said, “No sir, not exactly, he just said that McCain had met with an unfortunate accident which might be hard to explain and we had better get down here and help you clean things up.”
Sarah looked at Todd, with a little embarrassment and pride. She informed the agents that Todd had just been made a General by her order. “I’m sure there is some kind of clause in the Bush Emergency Powers Acts which cover this.” she added carefully, “After all he is still actually in the miltary. He was a member of the Alaskan National Guard Reserve. I’ll sort out his exact rank tomorrow, but as of now, General Todd Palin is my personal military aide and you will listen to his orders!”
The Secret Service men looked at each other warily and the Chief Agent saluted and said curtly, “Yes, Madame President!.”
The Palins looked at each other with elated relief. Who would ever have guessed it would have been this simple? The agents upon opening the door were taken aback. The old geezer had obviously put up quite a struggle. The room was in a shambles, but he was quite dead and obviously had been for quite a while, with the cord from the brass lamp he had been brained with still tightly wrapped around his neck.